Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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