my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
