she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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