You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
