I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she told me i tasted like america
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
