You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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