Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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