Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
