Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
