Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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