That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
