I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Quick, to the slutcave!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
