went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
