I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
