Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
