In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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