it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
