U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
