Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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