Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
