I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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