I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
