You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
