I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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