The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
