I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
