And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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