he shaved USA in his pubs
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
