Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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