Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
