I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
