I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
