My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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