JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
