There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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