i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i just google imaged poop.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
