It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
