i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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