2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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