you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
