You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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