Barsexuality is the new black.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
