we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
