WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
