Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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