We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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