Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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