how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
pop tarts are not kleenex
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
