3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
