Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
