Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize
